Delete Your Old Blog, Natch, Company - But Only When You Are Ready

“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
― Steven Wright

I was looking for a quote about failure and this one made me laugh!  I was looking for "failure" because I know there are a lot of quotes about how failure is a part of the journey to success and recently, I've decided to be brave enough to say that my adventure in EMPA was a bit of a failure.  Techinally, I gave up because I went back to work but a failure because I HAD to go back to work. 

I started this company when I was made an accidental mompreneur in 2008.  Now it's 2013 and I'm on to new paths and new journeys.  This dream doesn't fit into my goals at the moment. I went back to full time work out of financial necessity and just kind of left this business cold turkey.  Not good.  There could have been a better process.  Now, I play a little clean up.

I don't have the heart to delete the blog or website...just yet.  Steven Wright, in his quote, says to destroy evidence of failure.  However, I'm not ready and perhaps at some point, willingness to share my failure might help others succeed or at least know that there is life after a failed business.  In addition, I like my "BusiMom" trademark and don't want to give that up, just yet!

When you begin a company it's like a child.  You birth it, nurture it and when it gets sick or dies, it hurts.  There is a process in which to grieve.  This company was not a success for so many reasons.  When I have time, I'll write about it.  For now, I don't have the heart, so I leave this site out in the world wide web for others to find and see that - although I haven't found success with this adventure, I am finding success.

Going back to full time work has worked out great for me.  I actually found a new path.  Similar, but new.   You can see my work on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/lorinkmask/

In addition, I've found the perfect niche for me: Mindful Leadership.  This is my journey.  If you want to learn more go to: www.lorinkmask.blogspot.com/  &  My Daily Affirmation for Mindful Leadership blog.

For now, you can check out the posts I've left behind that could be useful for you.  The two most popular are: Mom Egomaniac  &  5 Helpful Hints to Better Communication in Writing...

Drop me a line at my new sight or connect with me on LinkedIn.  Thank you for those that tried to help me succeed ~ You know who you are! 

Much love,
Lorin Mask
former failed Accidental Mompreneur

Mom Egomaniac?

Hi everyone,
It's been awhile.  I've missed you but haven't forgotten you.

My boy was born on June 1st.  He's my third kid.  For some reason, a very strange reason, I naively thought that I would be able to blog and write daily.  I have gone through newborn unpredictable schedules before - am I that much of an egomaniac?  lol  Did I think that I was such a seasoned mom that I would be able to put as much time into my businesses as I did before my boy?

For those of you unaware.  I just gave birth to a new baby boy.  My other two are girls and now our family is nice and rounded out.  In the months before Landry was born, I was confident that I'd be down for only a couple of weeks and then I'd be back at work with no problems.

I'm one of those moms that is militant about schedules.  I find that when my baby is on a schedule I will know more of what is going on when they cry.  With a schedule, I know whether food, sleep or a good old fashion poop is in order.  I'm much more relaxed and so is the baby since I can figure things out better.

So, in my MOM Egomaniac moment.  I thought, that since I've done this schedule thing before, I'd be into the swing of things right away.

I forgot one important thing...babies are unpredictable...especially newborns.  He's great one minute and off schedule the next.  I also forgot that I have two other children under 5.  They are in camp in the morning but not all day!  I know I'm making myself crazy but, I've got clients to take care of and bills to pay...so, I work at night now.

I'm tired and my brain is not working - please forgive my blogs going forward.  They might not make sense, there will be more than one grammar issue and more than one typo.  Bare with me.  I'll be back to normal soon...in about 18 years!

What Maternity Leave??

Landry Edward Mask
06-01-10

My life just got busier!!!


With the birth of my new kid and first boy, as a work at home mom, I was super excited that I could have all the maternity leave I wanted...unfortuntely as an entrepreneur, that means 3 weeks. I'm trying to get back to work because unlike those that work at companies, I don't get a leave or any pay when I don't work.

But, that's ok. It is still on my terms, but I realize that if I don't work, there is no income. My biggest fear is that all the hard networking I did this spring will go to waste. I don't want to loose the momentum. The hard part is an unpredictable newborn!  How do I find the time and the energy?  I'm a breast feeding mom, so that zaps a lot of my energy.  I still have two other kids under 5 to take care of, too. But, I will try to stay postive and not stress myself out and get plenty of sleep.  (I'm very lucky, all my kids are good sleepers, including Landry! Thanks goodness for black out curtains!)

I am a big fan of the schedule! I did routines for my other two children and it works wonders. I'm getting Landry on a schedule but, it takes time.

For the summer, I will try my best to keep up with blogs, tweets, and my tele-gatherings/coaching for EPMA. This fall, I'm sure I'll be fully ready to go with my girls finally in school full time and the new baby in a routine.

So, this summer, as most of them seem to be this way, we'll be light on "stuff" but the fall is always in full swing.  As for having a newborn and a business.  Postivie attitude will get me through!

Cheers,
Lorin

Use Microsoft Outlook Calendar as a Great Motivator!

I use my outlook calendar as a to-do list and more. I first started to use my outlook calendar to help me remember when I had appointments such as client coaching, networking events and my kid’s school events. I then started to pay attentions to the reminder feature. I noticed that it would ding and pop up at the time I set the reminder!

I thought to myself – what if I started to use it as a way to keep track of daily, weekly or monthly tasks? I started to put EVERYTHING in there!

• Daily: Facebook updates for EPMA and Daily Affirmations, work on book, clean up email for ½ hour, organize office for ½ hour every day

• Weekly: VIP Coaching clients, water plants, do laundry, write & post blogs, run Spybot on computer, back up computer and more!

• Monthly: Group coaching events, bills, invoicing

How has this helped me?

1. Accountability – I cannot “dismiss” until I cross it off my list! I can “snooze” but I cannot cross it off! The dings and reminders help hold me accountable for getting it done.

2. Brain De-Stressor – Knowing I don’t have to remember every little detail in my life really takes a load off. I am quick to add things to the calendar and then I feel good “forgetting” about it until I get my reminder. I can also print up the calendar in many different formats for a visual reference and for adding things to the family calendar in our kitchen.

3. Motivator – I so want to get things done. Looking at a long list keeps me moving.

4. Accomplishment – nothing gets my juices flowing as much as clicking that dismiss button! I am careful to allow myself some leeway

It takes time to put things in there and it has taken a bit of time to learn a new thing AND I still forget things from time to time. However, I’m glad I tried and now it has become habit! Give a try and if you find success or want to know more -- Give me a shout!

5 Simple Ways to Discover Your Life Purpose

If you are not finding success it is because you are not serving your life purpose. For some, it can be an easy process; for others it will take some time. If you're get stuck its only because of your belief system. If you think you can’t do this…then you can’t. If you think you can, you will.

1. Remember the great moments of your life – Look at your whole life even when you were a kid. What got you super excited to your core? What made you laugh the loudest? What gave you tears of joy? What gave you the greatest satisfaction?

2. Who do you admire – looking a people in our lives and in public life can really be a great way to discover life purpose. If you ever find yourself saying…”They have such cool lives!”, then take a microscope to it and see how you can learn from them.

3. Repetition of thought – what ideas play over and over and over in your head? Those tapes that you hear are telling you something. Listen.

4. What brings you joy on a daily basis – What you like talking about, thinking about, reading about, learning about…You get the idea. Topics that you gravitate to on a regular basis.

5. Make a list – sometimes it’s a simple as just making a list. When I changed careers, I literally sat down to a yellow tablet and wrote down my perfect job description. Not the industry and certainly not the title – just what I would do on a regular basis. Shortly thereafter, I saw a Time magazine article about coaching and look at me now. Living what I love.

If you still have trouble - you may need some help overcoming road blocks that you are creating.  A good coach is a great place to start.  Many times it's not figuring out your purpose but in acting on it!

7 Practical Tips for Creating a Positive Mental Attitude

7 Practical Tips for Creating a Positive Mental Attitude -- following are things that I do on a regular basis to keep me positive and motivated!  Being stuck in negativty really keeps me from attaining the things I want in life.


1. Vitamin D – I used to suffer from seasonal disorder. That is, in Winter I would get very down and sometimes depressed from the lack of sun. After reading a lot about Vitamin D and listening to one of our members who is a professional therapist, Alison Buchalter Segal, Ph.D., it seemed a good idea to give a daily dose of Vitamin D a try. This winter I never had a cold or caught my daughter’s illnesses nor did I suffer the “winter blues.” Now, I am NOT a medical professional, nor am I a therapist but, I would recommend consulting one to discuss the idea of Vitamin D. I personally believed it helped and, in addition to fish oil, is one of the few medications/vitamins that I take.

2. Daily meditation – Taking a moment to yourself everyday to clear your head is the best way to get rid of negative thoughts. Even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes. Pray, meditate, dream – whatever you prefer. After 21 days, keep this up and you will see dramatic results.

3. Positive people – I say this all the time. Toxic people breed toxic thoughts and positive people breed positive thoughts. You want to be positive???? Surround yourself with people who are happy and have a good outlook on life.

4. Laugh everyday – Laughing, like exercise, increases blood flow, raises endorphins and even burns calories! I have a some great ideas about finding daily laughs: There are blogs dedicated to making you laugh. Many comics will send you a daily joke via email. My favorite is www.youtube.com for finding something that will make my stomach hurt. It’s amazing how much better I feel when I have a real good laugh. Studies show that laughing helps those with depression, so grab a laugh everyday!

5. Gratitude – Nothing makes me feel more lucky to be alive than to visit the things that I’m grateful for in my life. Like the daily meditations, think of 5 things everyday that you are grateful for and you will feel more at peace.

6. Celebrate wins – All too often I find myself focusing on the struggles and challenges in my life. Let’s flip flop that one! Now, I try more often to celebrate my wins, tiny ones and big ones! When you have a win, take a moment to find your best supporter and share that win. No matter how small or how big – they will truly feel happy and excited for you!!

7. Pity party – allow yourself to have “pity parties.” Once again, call your best supporter, a person who will listen without judgment, and share with them, your bad mood. There is a strict rule, though!!!! Before you start complaining – tell them that you’d like to vent, feel validated and but then you MUST visit 1-6. You are not allowed to live in “pity-me-land!”

If you have some great tips for getting positive share them with us!

5 Things That Keeps you Stuck in Neutral

Following is a list of 5 things that can keep you stuck in neutral and keep you from reaching your goals or getting projects done!  There are also a few ideas to help you overcome these obstacles!

1. Belief systems – Whatever you believe to be true it true. This is a mantra of mine. If I think something is hard or impossible then it will be. If I am having a hard time getting something done I review my beliefs around the project. Usually, I am the only stopping me from getting most things done. It feels better to blame others than to take a look at myself – I really don’t want to be wrong! LOL However, I find that if I change my belief around an idea then things do become easier and I manage to get more done or overcome obstacles that put in place by only me.

2. Competing priorities – Kids, spouse, house, job, business, friends…the list can go on and on. They all want you. They all want your time! They all have opinions about what you should be doing and how you should be doing them. This contributes to competing priorities. I truly feel the way to overcome this completion is to enlist the help of a third party that doesn’t have an agenda for you besides your success.

3. Competing values – Many people say that they want to have more money, yet they will go out and purchase a brand new car that decreases in value by at least 30% the minute it’s driven off the dealership lot. Competing values are prevalent in financial situations and in family matters. Many will complain about others traits and behaviors that they also possess. For example, think about the last time you were in line at the grocery and had an issue. You want those behind you to be patient and understanding but think about that last time it was someone else who was ahead of you. Where you patient and understanding.

How does this keep you stuck in neutral? Well, financially, if you are trying to get ahead and you keep spending money unwisely, think about the values you have around your purchase. Think about what it most important to you – instant gratification or saving? Neither is wrong, it’s important to visit what you REALLY value and see if you are making choices that go against them.

4. Toxic people – There are people in this world that do not want you to succeed. It benefits them for you to fail. There are people in this world, that no matter what, who are negative and want everyone around them to validate their negativity. Toxic people can be VERY contagious. Look out for them – they will keep you stuck. You do not have to eliminate them from your life. Just be aware of their attitudes and beliefs. Let them say what they have to but don’t buy in!

5. Desire / Passion – Do you really want it bad enough? Perhaps you don’t really have the drive to reach that goal. Most things worth getting take some hard work. If you are passionate enough about it, then nothing will stop in you. The four listed above will not cause you to fail because you will proceed despite obstacle and challenges. People who succeed keep working and trying and don’t give up. Shifting, making mistakes and reinvention might be needed but stopping isn’t an option. The easy way out isn’t an option. If you are stuck, visit your desires and see if they are stong enough.