A Mom Entrepreneur's thoughts on: #2 & 3 of 53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur

For several blogs going forward, I'm going to share with you my thoughts on a great blog post: "53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur." by Neil Patel. His blog Quick Sprout is a must read. The original list is here: http://www.quicksprout.com/2009/08/07/51-ways-to-become-a-better-entrepreneur/


2. Accept criticism, no matter who gives it to you.


Do you live in a town that has statues of historical people? Some of them are well known, like Martin Luther King Jr. and George Washington to the more obscure Stevie Ray Vaughn (he’s in Austin, TX on Auditorium Shores, a blues player of influence in the music industry). What they have in common is they were criticized! Did they cower and decide not to go for what they believed in???

I’m ready for more woman statues out there!!!! Criticism makes us stronger. Listen to those that don’t like you or don’t like what you are about. They will tell you think your friends will never tell you. It might hurt and make us not want to move forward but if you use the information wisely it will make you stronger and better!

If you are not getting any criticism and it’s only “what at great idea.” You are not talking to the right people. Get honest feedback – this is the only way to grow and improve.

I like that Neil, says “no matter who gives it to you.” I got it good from my 4 year old the other day and I deserved it. You never know where the good ideas are going to come from. I even get mother advice from a friend who has no children. You scoff? She’s got nieces and nephews, she’s smart and she observes. Don’t think she doesn’t know a thing or two. Sometimes people the farthest away from the situation will have the freshest eyes.


3. Never stop networking.

You will not be able to ride a tide for long. The best surfers get out there over and over and over again because the tide does roll in. You have to make connections – fresh connections on a regular basis or your business will wave on into the shore and wither away. There will be a time after a start up when you can relax because part of your business will be referral but you can’t sustain a business this way. You might not have to market and network as hard but you do have to keep it up. Even Coke and Pepsi still market and advertise.

You have started your business but you never know who you are going to meet! If you decide to not network then you might not meet that special someone who would partner up with you and take your business to a multi-million dollar business!

Don’t like to network? Tough. You can’t avoid it. Sitting in your office or at your kitchen table is not meeting people.

Don’t want to go out in the evening because of your kids? You don’t have to do the evening events. There are plenty of lunch dates and breakfast groups. You can start an EPMA chapter that meets in the morning after the kids go to school.

Think of networking as always taking an opportunity to talk about business. For example, that Tupperware party you’ve been invited too? Perhaps the hostess will give you a moment for everyone to introduce themselves and you can also introduce your business.

NEVER GO OUT WITHOUT BUSINESS CARDS!!!!!!

Wishing you continued success,
Lorin

A Mom Entrepreneur's thoughts on: #1 of 53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur

For several blogs going forward, I'm going to share with you my thoughts on a great blog post: "53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur." by Neil Patel. His blog Quick Sprout is a must read. The original list is here: http://www.quicksprout.com/2009/08/07/51-ways-to-become-a-better-entrepreneur/


Today: Rule #1 - It's a doozy so I made this entry all about number one.

1. Don't let your emotions cloud your decisions.


This is one of the funniest things I've seen! Women and moms especially are notorious when it comes to emotions. HELLO??? Can anyone say hormones!!! I think women are at a disadvantage when it comes to keeping our emotions in check, its part of our nature. I wouldn't want to do without them, though, because it's what makes me a woman and a mom. We need to be savvy so we can use them to our advantage.

First guilt is so prominent with mom entrepreneurs! We feel guilty when we are busy working because we should be with our kids. We feel guilty when we are with our kids because we should be working! It's a no win situation...or is it? Perhaps we are better at setting boundaries when it comes to working too much.

Anger is another prominent emotion. Depression is very common and for women we display our depression with the inability to control anger. If you can't control your anger, get help.

I think what Neil meant when he wrote that rule was that we need to think with our heads and don't make rash decisions. What you want and what you need are two different things sometimes. As mom entrepreneurs, we really need to be cognizant of "the state of rationalization." I know that sometimes I don't make the right decision because I "just want something." Later, I might regret it but, I won't beat myself up over it. Learn and move on.

Don't just do things because you think it'd be the nice thing to do or it's cool or it seems fun - make sure it makes sense for your business, your family, your friends or yourself! Do the research and weigh the costs. Don't be afraid to ask questions and don't be too proud.

PS - Regina Bonolo is my coach.  I mentioned her on my Time Out video this week.  Here is her website: http://aspirehigher.biz/

Self-Esteem and Business

A very interesting thing happened to me this week and I want to use it as learning event!


As, you all know, I do the Mom’s Time Out video. As a marketing tool, I send the video to my twitter and Facebook accounts. On Monday, a friend of mine posted a comment on my Facebook after my video post that said, “A vision statement – how visionary.”

This sent me reeling! I was so embarrassed. If my friend thinks my video is silly, are there others that don’t speak up??!! I was beside myself. I was just crushed. His opinions mean a lot to me, I truly respect the success he has made for himself.

My first instinct was to send a sarcastic comment back but I thought that didn’t seem professional. I’ve always taught people that if an email makes you upset don’t do anything until you’ve had time to cool off. So, I cooled off and decided to look at it from his point of view.

My friend and I have a teasing kind of relationship. We are always ribbing each other about this and that. I realized that he was just doing and saying things he always says. The difference this time was that instead of making fun of my personal life, (which is ok!), he picked something I did professionally. He probably really didn’t think my video was silly, he just wanted to say hi and that he watched it.

Then, I got very bothered by the fact that I was bothered by it. I decided to send him an email because I did want to address it. I asked that he refrain from teasing me on professional posts because others might not understand our friendship or the comment. I also admitted that my self-esteem isn’t always the best when it comes to my professional life.

I feel confident in my personal life so, I’m comfortable with being teased with my kids or how I look. However, career and business are different for me. Naturally, he told me it wasn’t meant that way and he would remove the comment. He also, gave me a compliment, which felt good even though I forced it on him by obliquely asking: “Do you think my posts are silly?”

I felt good that I addressed the situation. It shows growth on my part. In the past, I would have jabbed back, or made some self-deprecating statement and suffered quietly. Instead, I decided to own what I feel and address it with my friend. My self-esteem took a boost and I ended up with a very productive day!

Next time someone says something that makes you question yourself, have the courage to talk to them about it. Don’t wallow in self-pity. You might have misunderstood or they may just not know how to give good criticism, or as in my case, they meant to harm at all. Make sure you are open, honest and friendly about it and not accusatory so, that you can have productive conversation that lifts you up!

Happy Labor Day, BusiMoms

A poorly written blog with a few random thoughts on labor; forgive me! I just couldn't help myself!

Labor Day has a whole new meaning to me now that I'm a mom! Two labors, two daughters.

The other births, that I've labored over - my two companies. www.thelegalappeal.com & www.epmassociation.org

My companies and my children are "labors" of love.

Some days I just don't want to be a mom and some days I don't want to be a business owner but, I labor on...

My children and my businesses are the fruits of my labor.

I could go on but, I won't. How do you think of Labor Day???? Share your thoughts.

Cheers,
Lorin

The Unitentional Entrepreneur

Did you become an entrepreneur on purpose? I did and didn't. I've been trying it out over the course of my career but didn't get serious about it until last year when I got laid off. I have always assumed I would be on my own. I just didn't think it would be so soon. The average age of new entrepreneur is 50+ and I'll only be 41. (On Wednesday!)

I've been reading a lot about the idea of the intentional or unintentional entrepreneur. I find the term "unintentional" kind of funny. It's as if someone thrust us onto the CEO/Founder/President platform without our consent!

I can tell you I haven't started my companies kicking and screaming with regret but, I have found it stressful. But not as stressful as being rejected by a few dozen companies! A few of my friends and acquaintances are considering an entrepreneur idea because they are having a hard time just landing a job.

Another friend is a stay-at-home mom who's kids are school age now. She been out of the work force for awhile now and knows the job market is crammed full of talent. She's going to try direct sales. I truly hope she does well!

I'd love to hear from you!!! What's your story?

"Are you an intentional or unintentional entrepreneur? And why?"
Cheers,
Lorin

Challenge Question! Time Management

Hi BusiMoms,
The most covered topic when it comes to WAHM's and mom's who work outside the home is:

TIME!

All my clients want to manage their time better, our members want to manage time better and I work with my own coach on time management issues, too!!!

My questions to you all:

"What's your best trick or tips for time managment?"

There are a million books but I'd love to hear some tried and true methods that you acutally use and put into practice. I'll post all answers on our website. If you want to be noted as the author and your website/blog. Put it in the comments.

Cheers,
Lorin

School Vacation Time - AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Hi BusiMomsTM,

If you are like me, you now have kids home from school for the summer. Or you will soon. Summer can be a busy time.

Today is the first day that I have both kids home at the same time for a regular extended period. It is difficult to work and have children around all the time, who think you are here to service their every need. Well, to some extent, I am. Both of my kids are under the age of 4. Much to their credit they are self-sufficient when it is not a good time for me or they are getting into something they shouldn't be getting into. Then there are the times that I'm doing 12 things at once and they need me to take their shoes off. (They are both capable of doing this on their own.)

I wish I had a magic formula for dealing with kids and business at home but, I don't. Below are some suggestions for older kids. I did not create these. Dr. Patty Ann, the relationship expert on www.metromom.com wrote them. Plus, the last idea is from Debbye Cannon, the business mom mentor www.businessmommentor.com

"1. Set boundaries and realistic expectations for both yourself and your children. Children at 9 & 7 years old do not really "understand" that your work is important to you , they only "know" that your work is important to you. Big difference. Therefore, set boundaries and expectations for their behavior that accurately reflects this situation. Take all requests for food, drinks, bathroom breaks, etc. before going to work.

2. Use Humour. Let them know prior to a scheduled call that you are about to get on a call where national security is at stake and any interruptions will risk our nations security -or something that comes across as very funny to them but helps get the point across that you really cannot be interrupted. Humour allows you to reach your goal of uninterrupted time via a more easily heard manner than some ominous threat. Kids will probably think the humour you use is corny, but they will get the message.

3. Be creative. For example, you might have a bag of treats, surprise toys, etc., outside your door with the hope of stopping them dead in their tracks on their way into your office.

4. Finally, and I can hear all the other so-called experts screaming "No"! at this , but I live in the real world - use BRIBES. That's right, bribery works with kids, just like flattery works with women (and don't deny this girls). Desperate times call for desperate measures so use bribery accordingly.

5. A final thought - kids might find it a little confusing that "work" is at "home" for mom; especially if daddy "goes" to work. You might want to get their impression [on] this discrepancy. Just a thought."

And from Debbye Cannon: "Last week I was working w/ a Private Client in the U.K. who has a 6 yr old son. Same sort of thing with interruptions. We had him make a two sided "stop and go" sign, laminated and hung on her door as a signal lite."

My office is upstairs and I've told my kids that if they want something they have to come upstairs to ask, they can't just yell at me from the bottom of the stairs. Many times, it's not important enough for them to walk up so that has been helping.

I hope some or one of these suggestions might work for you. PLEASE send any other suggestions, tricks or tips that have worked for you and I'll post them on our website!

Happy Monday and I hope you have a successful week. Good luck if you have kids home!

Cheers,
Lorin
www.epmassociation.org

5 Helpful Hints to Better Communication in Writing

Miscommunication happens all the time. A lot of it can be laughable. Most often, however, conflict or issues will arise. Some of it can be detrimental to your business or family!

Recently, I wrote an email to my EPMA colleague, Mary Ann and some dates got mixed up because I did not write clearly what I was trying to say. It was interesting because my first reaction was, "She didn't read what I wrote." But that really wasn't accurate. Even though what I wrote was clear in my head, it didn't come across clearly to her. My bad. Before I said anything I looked at what I wrote from her point of view and it was NOT clear at all. I apologized instead of blaming. Luckily, it was not serious and we could laugh about it.

In communication, it is BOTH parties responsibility to understand the message but most often there is blame. Either we say, "you didn't tell me" or "you don't listen/read." Both are right and both are wrong.

Now, I am not the best writer. I consider myself a good writer but by no means am I an excellent writer. I aspire and work on it constantly. Being a good communicator is the utmost important in business. It showcases your credibility. If you communicate poorly then you are seen as less credible in the business world and vice verse.

Today, with the sheer amount of writing that we do, whether it is emails, blogs, websites, brochures, case studies or old fashioned business letters - your abilities are on display.

1. First and foremost. Make sure your sentence structure is correct, especially watch for any misplaced modifiers (i.e. "Last night I dreamt I shot an elephant in my pajamas. Why he was wearing my pajamas I'll never know.") and typing their or there for they're, etc.
2. www.drgrammar.org is a great website to help when you are writing. It is a collection of FAQ's regarding grammar and spelling.
3. I also recommend a writing class - for many of us it's been several years since we last took a class in writing and it's not like a bicycle, there are many things we forget if we don't practice. Look to your local community college for a class or workshop.
4. For goodness sake, PLEASE have someone proof read important documents that you hand out for marketing or to sell as a product. I recently received some training materials that has typos and missed words! I paid almost $1000 dollars for the materials! (She's an attorney, too!)
5. The most important, however, is remembering to be clear and concise. Less is more.

Happy communicating and before you blame others for not listening or reading - make sure you are clear in YOUR writing or talking.

Cheers, Lorin
http://www.epmassociation.org/

The Work-At-Home Work Schedule

I'm not supposed to work on Friday's. It's a rule I've been trying to institute into my schedule. Friday's I'm supposed to don my mommy/maid hat. I'm not doing to good of a job. I always to a little bit of work on Fridays.

I really like what I do so much, that I'd rather blog, write, work on email, coach etc. than do laundry, clean the litter box, vacuum and mop. Who wouldn't?

A cleaning person is going to be at the top of my list...as soon as I stop being so frugal. Which is an ironic statement. Those that truly know me, know that I'm not really frugal. I aspire to be frugal so, I find areas with which I'm OK with being frugal. Right now, I'm OK with cleaning my own house, poorly too, I might add.

Back to my "not working on Friday's" topic. I'm currently trying to multi-task which is not working. It never does. I managed to get a load in the wash but that was a couple hours ago and it still sits there while I type.

You might wonder why I'm making myself crazy over it and why I'm even instituting this rule.

Corporate America did this to me!

In my previous job, I LOVED it. I had a great time, I worked hard and I felt I was living my life's purpose (to some extent). However, every Friday after I got off work, I would get off the train from the city, walk up the giant hill at my station while thinking: "Why on Earth do I spend FIVE days at work and TWO days at home with my children?" And that's how it went, Friday, after Friday, after Friday until I got laid off.

Now, that I'm in more control and even though I should be putting massive amounts of hours to get the EPMA relaunch going sooner rather than later - I'm going to do it on my own terms. That means I have to take Friday's off.

On the lucky side of things - It's currently nap time so kids aren't loosing out, I'm about to eat my lunch, this doesn't have to be long and I just had a nice time sharing.

I love being an entrepreneur.

Have a great weekend everyone! I'll get back to work on Monday. I promise!
Don't forget to visit our not-yet-new website - We hope to launch new one the 11th! http://www.epmassociation.org/

When Family Visits During a Launch

There are many times when we do not have the option to say "No" to visitors. Usually this means family. My husband's Aunt is visiting and I love it when she comes. My girls just adore her and she always plays with them! She is a very interesting woman who has been working VERY hard the last 5 years on getting a center built in Afghanistan for children and widows. I'm amazed by her tenacity and determination in fund raising and in construction in a foreign country. I'm very proud to be related to her!

She's in New York to see us and timed it with a fundraiser that she is sponsoring.

The hard part about her visit and this is true with all visitors to my house - I want to make sure they have what they need, they are entertained and are having a good time. This can be stressful enough when we are not busy but add a launch and it becomes even more stressful.

There are many steps we can do to help the craziness and anxiety that can result --

1. 
   First, plan ahead and know that you will be limited on what you can accomplish when you have visitors.
2. Pare down your to-do list and limit clients as much as possible.
3. If you can reschedule, do it. Most people are understanding and flexible.
4. Put in your gratitude journal that it is wonderful to have family and friends who care enough about you and your family to visit!
5. Negotiate up front about expectations on their visit. If you have clients let your visitors know when you have to work with them. Make a calendar or list for them. They won't remember nor, do they have to remember. And your visitors are very understanding!
6. Remind yourself as to why you are an entrepreneur - for the flexibility! It's amazing how inflexible we are when it comes right down to it - even though we SAY we want it...we most often have a hard time putting that flexibility into practice.
7. If you start to stress out, journal your thoughts. It is an easy an quick thing to do. Stream-of-consciousness-writing. Just blurt it out. Once it's on paper you can get the feelings out and figure out what you want to do about it - choice 1: be upset about something you can't 100% control OR choice 2: Take a deep breath and enjoy the time you have with them.
   

The people in our lives are so very important. If you were on your death bed tomorrow, would you say, "I wish I spent more time working?" Be grateful for the time. It's sometimes hard to find the positive but not that hard! As an entrepreneur or sales professional you have to be an optimist or you will never make it!

As for my Aunt-in-law...I'm enjoying my visit with her and doing whatever I can to help her with her fundraiser. It's more fun and a nice break! My stuff can wait a few days!

(This week's video is about Toxic People and it is not about my Aunt!)

BusiMom Blog Launch

Hi BusiMoms,
It's interesting, when you launch a company, that there are many learning curves. There are small learning curves and large learning curves. One of the biggest for me, is technology. This blog is a learning curve! I know enough to get myself in trouble but not enough to do it all on my own. The trouble part is that I'm trying to do all the website work myself to save money. We are a small start up and a non-profit. Until we get going, there isn't a whole lot to go around. I end up spending a lot of time learning so that I can do it myself...for free. There are good parts and bad parts to learning curves.

Remember this: Time is Money!

1. Do you know enough to not waste time? I feel I can get myself into trouble but I try to ask for help as much as possible. This is not typical for me. I'm one of those that will sit with a puzzle for hours until I figure it out. I don't have time to do that now. I need to ask for help and I'm starting to do that.

2. Are there easier alternatives...for now? Sometimes we need to have patience. At this point, re prioritize and ask yourself, "What do I really need to make my client/customers happy?" or "What do I really need right now to be able to market myself."

3. Refer to a "to-do" list before you launch/open for business. Make sure you have your product and that you can deliver. Everything else will be done if you keep it in sight.

4. Don't let details be an excuse. I can sure get caught up in minor details, that I forget the big pictures. I can also be good at say that I can't do this or that because of this other thing. Get going on that product and when you start making some money - improve.

5. Launch small. If your learning curve is super great, don't promise what you can't deliver. Just be what you can be for now. The "big" can come later.

6. Prepare. Nothing says that you can't start pricing experts to help you when you have the money. The first thing Mary Ann and I will do when we start adding members is hire a web designer and maintainer!

The good part about learning curves is that I'm know very familar with web design, hosting, some html and other stuff - the great thing about that is I can talk to an expert without sounding like a complete idiot. We'll be able save time in the future because I understand more.

The other learning curve is accounting. I'm just doing my best and hoping that any mistakes are fixable! And I'm going to try real hard to not hand an accountant a box of receipts at tax time!

If you are launching and have any good tips. Share them with us! I hope you follow our blog - we're going to put tricks, tips and ideas up here on a regular basis. Plus, I'll share the BusiMom's Time Out on Monday's.

Cheers, Lorin
Founder, CEO
Entrepreneur & Professional Moms Association
http://www.epmassociation.org/