Mom Egomaniac?

Hi everyone,
It's been awhile.  I've missed you but haven't forgotten you.

My boy was born on June 1st.  He's my third kid.  For some reason, a very strange reason, I naively thought that I would be able to blog and write daily.  I have gone through newborn unpredictable schedules before - am I that much of an egomaniac?  lol  Did I think that I was such a seasoned mom that I would be able to put as much time into my businesses as I did before my boy?

For those of you unaware.  I just gave birth to a new baby boy.  My other two are girls and now our family is nice and rounded out.  In the months before Landry was born, I was confident that I'd be down for only a couple of weeks and then I'd be back at work with no problems.

I'm one of those moms that is militant about schedules.  I find that when my baby is on a schedule I will know more of what is going on when they cry.  With a schedule, I know whether food, sleep or a good old fashion poop is in order.  I'm much more relaxed and so is the baby since I can figure things out better.

So, in my MOM Egomaniac moment.  I thought, that since I've done this schedule thing before, I'd be into the swing of things right away.

I forgot one important thing...babies are unpredictable...especially newborns.  He's great one minute and off schedule the next.  I also forgot that I have two other children under 5.  They are in camp in the morning but not all day!  I know I'm making myself crazy but, I've got clients to take care of and bills to pay...so, I work at night now.

I'm tired and my brain is not working - please forgive my blogs going forward.  They might not make sense, there will be more than one grammar issue and more than one typo.  Bare with me.  I'll be back to normal soon...in about 18 years!

What Maternity Leave??

Landry Edward Mask
06-01-10

My life just got busier!!!


With the birth of my new kid and first boy, as a work at home mom, I was super excited that I could have all the maternity leave I wanted...unfortuntely as an entrepreneur, that means 3 weeks. I'm trying to get back to work because unlike those that work at companies, I don't get a leave or any pay when I don't work.

But, that's ok. It is still on my terms, but I realize that if I don't work, there is no income. My biggest fear is that all the hard networking I did this spring will go to waste. I don't want to loose the momentum. The hard part is an unpredictable newborn!  How do I find the time and the energy?  I'm a breast feeding mom, so that zaps a lot of my energy.  I still have two other kids under 5 to take care of, too. But, I will try to stay postive and not stress myself out and get plenty of sleep.  (I'm very lucky, all my kids are good sleepers, including Landry! Thanks goodness for black out curtains!)

I am a big fan of the schedule! I did routines for my other two children and it works wonders. I'm getting Landry on a schedule but, it takes time.

For the summer, I will try my best to keep up with blogs, tweets, and my tele-gatherings/coaching for EPMA. This fall, I'm sure I'll be fully ready to go with my girls finally in school full time and the new baby in a routine.

So, this summer, as most of them seem to be this way, we'll be light on "stuff" but the fall is always in full swing.  As for having a newborn and a business.  Postivie attitude will get me through!

Cheers,
Lorin

Use Microsoft Outlook Calendar as a Great Motivator!

I use my outlook calendar as a to-do list and more. I first started to use my outlook calendar to help me remember when I had appointments such as client coaching, networking events and my kid’s school events. I then started to pay attentions to the reminder feature. I noticed that it would ding and pop up at the time I set the reminder!

I thought to myself – what if I started to use it as a way to keep track of daily, weekly or monthly tasks? I started to put EVERYTHING in there!

• Daily: Facebook updates for EPMA and Daily Affirmations, work on book, clean up email for ½ hour, organize office for ½ hour every day

• Weekly: VIP Coaching clients, water plants, do laundry, write & post blogs, run Spybot on computer, back up computer and more!

• Monthly: Group coaching events, bills, invoicing

How has this helped me?

1. Accountability – I cannot “dismiss” until I cross it off my list! I can “snooze” but I cannot cross it off! The dings and reminders help hold me accountable for getting it done.

2. Brain De-Stressor – Knowing I don’t have to remember every little detail in my life really takes a load off. I am quick to add things to the calendar and then I feel good “forgetting” about it until I get my reminder. I can also print up the calendar in many different formats for a visual reference and for adding things to the family calendar in our kitchen.

3. Motivator – I so want to get things done. Looking at a long list keeps me moving.

4. Accomplishment – nothing gets my juices flowing as much as clicking that dismiss button! I am careful to allow myself some leeway

It takes time to put things in there and it has taken a bit of time to learn a new thing AND I still forget things from time to time. However, I’m glad I tried and now it has become habit! Give a try and if you find success or want to know more -- Give me a shout!

5 Simple Ways to Discover Your Life Purpose

If you are not finding success it is because you are not serving your life purpose. For some, it can be an easy process; for others it will take some time. If you're get stuck its only because of your belief system. If you think you can’t do this…then you can’t. If you think you can, you will.

1. Remember the great moments of your life – Look at your whole life even when you were a kid. What got you super excited to your core? What made you laugh the loudest? What gave you tears of joy? What gave you the greatest satisfaction?

2. Who do you admire – looking a people in our lives and in public life can really be a great way to discover life purpose. If you ever find yourself saying…”They have such cool lives!”, then take a microscope to it and see how you can learn from them.

3. Repetition of thought – what ideas play over and over and over in your head? Those tapes that you hear are telling you something. Listen.

4. What brings you joy on a daily basis – What you like talking about, thinking about, reading about, learning about…You get the idea. Topics that you gravitate to on a regular basis.

5. Make a list – sometimes it’s a simple as just making a list. When I changed careers, I literally sat down to a yellow tablet and wrote down my perfect job description. Not the industry and certainly not the title – just what I would do on a regular basis. Shortly thereafter, I saw a Time magazine article about coaching and look at me now. Living what I love.

If you still have trouble - you may need some help overcoming road blocks that you are creating.  A good coach is a great place to start.  Many times it's not figuring out your purpose but in acting on it!

7 Practical Tips for Creating a Positive Mental Attitude

7 Practical Tips for Creating a Positive Mental Attitude -- following are things that I do on a regular basis to keep me positive and motivated!  Being stuck in negativty really keeps me from attaining the things I want in life.


1. Vitamin D – I used to suffer from seasonal disorder. That is, in Winter I would get very down and sometimes depressed from the lack of sun. After reading a lot about Vitamin D and listening to one of our members who is a professional therapist, Alison Buchalter Segal, Ph.D., it seemed a good idea to give a daily dose of Vitamin D a try. This winter I never had a cold or caught my daughter’s illnesses nor did I suffer the “winter blues.” Now, I am NOT a medical professional, nor am I a therapist but, I would recommend consulting one to discuss the idea of Vitamin D. I personally believed it helped and, in addition to fish oil, is one of the few medications/vitamins that I take.

2. Daily meditation – Taking a moment to yourself everyday to clear your head is the best way to get rid of negative thoughts. Even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes. Pray, meditate, dream – whatever you prefer. After 21 days, keep this up and you will see dramatic results.

3. Positive people – I say this all the time. Toxic people breed toxic thoughts and positive people breed positive thoughts. You want to be positive???? Surround yourself with people who are happy and have a good outlook on life.

4. Laugh everyday – Laughing, like exercise, increases blood flow, raises endorphins and even burns calories! I have a some great ideas about finding daily laughs: There are blogs dedicated to making you laugh. Many comics will send you a daily joke via email. My favorite is www.youtube.com for finding something that will make my stomach hurt. It’s amazing how much better I feel when I have a real good laugh. Studies show that laughing helps those with depression, so grab a laugh everyday!

5. Gratitude – Nothing makes me feel more lucky to be alive than to visit the things that I’m grateful for in my life. Like the daily meditations, think of 5 things everyday that you are grateful for and you will feel more at peace.

6. Celebrate wins – All too often I find myself focusing on the struggles and challenges in my life. Let’s flip flop that one! Now, I try more often to celebrate my wins, tiny ones and big ones! When you have a win, take a moment to find your best supporter and share that win. No matter how small or how big – they will truly feel happy and excited for you!!

7. Pity party – allow yourself to have “pity parties.” Once again, call your best supporter, a person who will listen without judgment, and share with them, your bad mood. There is a strict rule, though!!!! Before you start complaining – tell them that you’d like to vent, feel validated and but then you MUST visit 1-6. You are not allowed to live in “pity-me-land!”

If you have some great tips for getting positive share them with us!

5 Things That Keeps you Stuck in Neutral

Following is a list of 5 things that can keep you stuck in neutral and keep you from reaching your goals or getting projects done!  There are also a few ideas to help you overcome these obstacles!

1. Belief systems – Whatever you believe to be true it true. This is a mantra of mine. If I think something is hard or impossible then it will be. If I am having a hard time getting something done I review my beliefs around the project. Usually, I am the only stopping me from getting most things done. It feels better to blame others than to take a look at myself – I really don’t want to be wrong! LOL However, I find that if I change my belief around an idea then things do become easier and I manage to get more done or overcome obstacles that put in place by only me.

2. Competing priorities – Kids, spouse, house, job, business, friends…the list can go on and on. They all want you. They all want your time! They all have opinions about what you should be doing and how you should be doing them. This contributes to competing priorities. I truly feel the way to overcome this completion is to enlist the help of a third party that doesn’t have an agenda for you besides your success.

3. Competing values – Many people say that they want to have more money, yet they will go out and purchase a brand new car that decreases in value by at least 30% the minute it’s driven off the dealership lot. Competing values are prevalent in financial situations and in family matters. Many will complain about others traits and behaviors that they also possess. For example, think about the last time you were in line at the grocery and had an issue. You want those behind you to be patient and understanding but think about that last time it was someone else who was ahead of you. Where you patient and understanding.

How does this keep you stuck in neutral? Well, financially, if you are trying to get ahead and you keep spending money unwisely, think about the values you have around your purchase. Think about what it most important to you – instant gratification or saving? Neither is wrong, it’s important to visit what you REALLY value and see if you are making choices that go against them.

4. Toxic people – There are people in this world that do not want you to succeed. It benefits them for you to fail. There are people in this world, that no matter what, who are negative and want everyone around them to validate their negativity. Toxic people can be VERY contagious. Look out for them – they will keep you stuck. You do not have to eliminate them from your life. Just be aware of their attitudes and beliefs. Let them say what they have to but don’t buy in!

5. Desire / Passion – Do you really want it bad enough? Perhaps you don’t really have the drive to reach that goal. Most things worth getting take some hard work. If you are passionate enough about it, then nothing will stop in you. The four listed above will not cause you to fail because you will proceed despite obstacle and challenges. People who succeed keep working and trying and don’t give up. Shifting, making mistakes and reinvention might be needed but stopping isn’t an option. The easy way out isn’t an option. If you are stuck, visit your desires and see if they are stong enough.

Pick Your Battles

I had a great conversation this weekend with a friend who is just happens to be a stay-at-home dad. The fact that I had a conversation with a dad instead of a mom has nothing to do with what we talked about – I just like saying that I had a conversation with a dad instead of a mom!

Anyway, I digress.

Our conversation surrounded discipline and the tools we used to motivate our children to do the things we need them to do such as: brush teeth, pick up toys, do homework and so on. We both have young children so many of our motivation tactics involve time outs, soap and perhaps a favorite toy taken away as consequences and money, toys, stickers or food treats as motivation.

During our discussion we came upon the idea of “pick your battles” and the topic really stuck in my head. What was it about pick your battles that resonates with me - a mom who is a business woman?Right after this, a business woman I know, Kim DeYoung of http://www.metromom.com/, told a story during an ecourse she was delivering. She shared a time that someone owed them payment for a product and she didn’t send it to collections. She didn’t want the negative energy – she thought it was better to just let it go. When she said this, it helped me with the connection! She chose to let this “battle” go.

In life we have to pick our battles! Whether we are dealing with our children, our life partners or our customers – we must make conscious choices about the battles we are going to pick to fight. Some are worth fighting and some are not. If we choose to make everything a battle then life will always be a struggle. Do you always want a struggle with your kids or your spouse/partner? I certainly don’t. Next time something rears up - make a conscious decision as to whether you need or want the negative to prevail. If everything is not a battle then everything won’t be…

BusiMom Monday MOMentum 5-3-10.mpg

The "Mom" in EPMA

I have to admit that I get very focused on the "Entrepreneur" & "Professional" in our group that many times I forget the "Mom" part. My mindset is very focused there for many reasons. First, EPMA is a start up and that usually means a lot of set up work. Think about your last party. All the prep work was crazy but the party itself is maintenance, right?

Also, I have one month left in my pregnancy and so I'm nesting with my businesses! I feel there is a lot to do before my boy comes so, that I can still keep the businesses running while focusing on my newborn.

Another important factor is that perhaps I feel more comfortable giving advice in areas of business but, less so in areas of family. It's not that I don't think I have good ideas; it's that I want to consider that there are more than one way to raise a family. However, I am beginning to think that it is an area that is worth exploring - after all it is a "Moms" association!

I am even currently working on a book about managing families using business techniques! Going forward, we'll have more information about raising kids and pursuing your career passions! Sharing advice and opinion is important. I should give you all the benefit of the doubt that you can discern what is relevant for you and what might help!

I'd love to hear from you - let me know what you want to learn and what you struggle with when it comes to family! In addition, I'm currently looking for guest bloggers and educators who are interested in sharing their information!

BusiMom Monday MOMentum 4-29-10.mpg

BusiMom Monday MOMentum Topic: Anger

Are you a procrastinator or is it something else more positive?

Did you know that procrastination can be your friend? I had an interesting conversation today with a member who gets one-on-one coaching and we talked about procrastination.

We discussed the pros and cons of "putting things off." Sometimes waiting is a good thing. It means there is something in our gut that is telling us to wait. Maybe you need to do some more research or review. Or perhaps you just need a break because you are getting overwhelmed.

If you are constantly putting off something, think about why you are waiting. Is it just because you hate doing it? If so, either stop it all together, change how you do it or change how you think about it!

Procrastination can also give you time to look at the big picture. When I was taking art classes as a college student the professor would walk around the classroom and pull us back away from the easel. Wow! Stop and take a look or things will get out of perspective! When I was life drawing and working so intensely on a foot, I'd forget that I need to make it fit with the rest of the body!

Stepping back - it's not procrastination...it's getting perspective.We also decided that sometime we might get overwhelmed at working on a project that we don't ever want to go back again. My answer to this is to take regular breaks - spread out the tasks. No sense in "getting it all done now." Taking a break is ok. You always need time to recharge! Again, not procrastination.

Deadlines can loom and make us crazy. If you wait till the last minute to get started...well, maybe that's procrastination.How to deal with procrastination? There is no magic cure.

1. Acknowledge and honor that you really don’t want to do the task or project.
2. Decide how important it is that it gets done? 
3. If it’s important enough, start with small steps and do a little at a time. 
4. Just don’t wait till the last minute. It doesn’t make it any easier.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.

(Whew, I’m finally done with something I was procrastinating on…)
Cheers, Lorin

A Mom Entrepreneur's thoughts on: #9 of 53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur, great for work out of home moms, too

Continuation of a series: I'm currently sharing my thoughts on a great blog post: "53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur." by Neil Patel. His blog Quick Sprout is a must read. The original list is here: http://www.quicksprout.com/2009/08/07/51-ways-to-become-a-better-entrepreneur/


9. No matter how successful you are, you shouldn’t stop learning.


I’ve seen a mixed bag of this. For moms who network – I commonly see women, who get comfortable with life/work and stagnate.

I have a very good friend who has worked at the same company for many years and now needs to make a move. She never networked and made no connections while she was employed. Now she’s trying to make connections and it’s taking a while. Networks take time to build. You should and MUST be networking at all times – not only when you need something!

As a matter of fact, networking when you don’t need something other than a place to learn, grow and build relationships is the most ideal time. Many people are turned off by others who only network when looking for a job.

Learning is the same thing. I know a lot of people who don’t take advantage of the seminars, tele-seminars and webinars, only because it’s “something they already know.” There is a reason that doctor, lawyers and other certifications require CLE’s. (Continued learning education) to renew their licenses.  Things change and you must keep up with the changes!  People can get stuck in paradigms and that will KILL YOUR BUSINESS!

You may think conferences in your area of industry are a luxury but you get to do many things at conferences: opportunity to learn, present, make connections, learn, learn oh, did I say learn – an not only at the lectures. You learn from those that you meet, in conversation. The connections you make at conferences can be valuable and long lasting!
There are lots of place to learn – heck, I’ll bet you learned something from you kid(s) today!

Watching Con Ed fix electic poles made me think about long term planning

This past week I was without electricity for 5 days and just got power back on Wednesday night. It was rough but not that bad. Could have been worse...Haiti comes to mind or perhaps New Orleans, Afghanistan and Iraq...anyway, not a blog about disasters and war zones.

This is about long term strategic planning...YAWN. Could be a snoozer but I'm simply AMAZED that people and large corporations FAIL to plan or to look at the big pictures.

Con Ed failed in many many places with our storm clean but I want to know if they are thinking about the next big storm????

1. How much is this clean up costing?
2. How much do most clean up's cost? Only TWO weeks ago we had 2 -3 feet of snow topple down trees and power lines.

ARE THEY THINKING ABOUT BURYING THE ELECTRIC LINES?????????????

Ok, sure, I get the expense, time and coordination with various municipalities, but, let's think LONG TERM.

If they were to put up with the expense of tearing up streets and sidewalks to never have to replant a million poles, get hundreds of thousands of people "back on line, take tree off lines, maintaining trees that grow and surround lines...it seems to me that if they buried the lines a lot of expensive problems would go away.

How does this concern you? If you live where the lines are buried you are probably wondering where I'm going with this...

YOU NEED TO BE THINKING ABOUT LONG TERM PLANNING!

1. How often do you go the cheaper or easier route for it to only cost more in the long run???

2. When you make decisions do you do a cost analysis to see if makes sense, 1, 5 or 10 years down the road?

3. Do you throw money and time at things because you "need it now?"

4. Are you constantly putting out fires?

If you said yes to any of those - then you've lost money. No argument. Now, all of us have made mistakes and have spent money only to realize later that we've screwed up - but, are you making the same mistakes over and over and over again?

S.W.O.T. analysis is one of the more popular models to help you with large decisions. Also, pay attention to small decisions you make regularly. Analyzing several small issues, projects and costs can add up and perhaps save you a bundle.

Watching Con Ed has certainly inspired me to do some heavy cost AND time analysis to see where I might stack up in the long run!

Go to Great Links - recommended blog posts from w/ March 5, 2010

The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Web 2.0: Top 25 Applications to Grow Your Business - Quick Sprout @neilpatel

http://www.quicksprout.com/2010/03/02/the-entrepreneurs-guide-to-web-2-0-top-25-applications-to-grow-your-business/


Ten things you must do before starting a business @efficiencycoach
http://www.theefficiencycoach.co.uk/blog/index.php/business-efficiency/ten-things-you-must-do-before-starting-a-business/comment-page-1/#comment-251


Why We Removed our Blog Feed from Facebook @paulroetzer
http://www.pr2020.com/page/remove-blog-feed-from-facebook#comments


10 Most Tempting Software Startup Categories @dharmesh http://onstartups.com/tabid/3339/bid/11978/The-10-Most-Tempting-Software-Startup-Categories.aspx


How to Wake up Early @GuyKawasaki
http://holykaw.alltop.com/how-to-wake-up-early-0


Does this guilt make my butt look fat? @MomCoach
http://www.theguiltfreemom.com/does-this-guilt-make-my-butt-look-fat-answer-yes/


"Bad Mother" Ayelet Waldman Says There Is No Work-Life Balance @hybridmom
http://www.hybridmom.com/articles/work/career-and-ambitions/bad-mother-ayelet-waldman-says-there-no-work-life-balance?utm_campaign=Hybrid%20Mom%3A%20Do%20you%20judge%20the%20kids%20of%20working%20moms%3F&utm_content=&utm_medium=Email&utm_source=VerticalResponse&utm_term=read%20more


Working with a Nanny @YummyMummyClub http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/working_with_a_nanny_krysta_davies_foss


Feel free to add more but do not self promote - this is about being a go-giver and sharing knowledge!


Have a great week,
Lorin

A Mom Entrepreneur's thoughts on: #8 of 53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur / professional

Continuation of a series: I'm currently sharing my thoughts on a great blog post: "53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur." by Neil Patel. His blog Quick Sprout is a must read. The original list is here: http://www.quicksprout.com/2009/08/07/51-ways-to-become-a-better-entrepreneur/


8. Try not to mix your family life with your business life.

 

This one is very funny for work at home parents. This seems like an impossible task…if you take in on face value. There is a good message here, though.

 

1. Do NOT mix your business finances with family finances. You should have separate accounts and then “pay yourself a salary” from your business account. Keep receipts separate and accounting separate. For heaven’s sake get quick books.

 

2. SET BOUNDRIES:
It is very very easy to work every day. Technology has created this world where we are always connected. I keep my work load light on Saturday and I never ever work on Sunday, with one small exception. If we are home, then I will only get on the computer if and when my kids are napping. Even then, moms, I recommend self-care or spouse/partner-care instead of business!

 

Even though my husband might be on his lap top in the kitchen in the middle of breakfast, he’s not really at breakfast. So, don’t think you can fool your family - just because you are in the same room doesn’t mean you are in the same room.

 

3. WHEN TO MIX:
If you work inside or outside the home, you teach your children valuable lessons. Here is where and how you mix business and family.

• Teach them about responsibility
• Teach them about having a passion
• Teach them about having their own interests outside the family
• Teach them about your values surrounding money

 

What do you think?  Remember to add posts.  Linkbacks are accepted and help you with SEO!!!!

A Mom Entrepreneur's thoughts on: #7 of 53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur

Continuation of a series: I'm currently sharing my thoughts on a great blog post: "53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur." by Neil Patel. His blog Quick Sprout is a must read. The original list is here: http://www.quicksprout.com/2009/08/07/51-ways-to-become-a-better-entrepreneur/

"7. Don’t get too greedy… pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered. "


Not sure what to make of this rule. It seems there could be many interpretations. For myself, I’m going to think that I should go for it on my pricing but not too pricey. My husband is good at this. When he puts prices on his antiques he looks at several factors.

1. What is the price for the same or similar items, in the same market.

2. Undercut them but not by too much.

3. Be willing to negotiate. Americans don’t do this much, that’s why they get in trouble at when car shopping but, get into the habit.

4. Don’t get emotional or take it personally – be willing to do something or part with something for less – just don’t lose your shirt!

5. Remember your market and venue. My husband sells on craigslist. If he put his merchandise in a retail store, it would have a higher price but, on craigslist the prices HAVE to be lower.

Look at your services and merchandise -- Make sure you are competitive so that they aren’t going to another place to buy!

A Mom Entrepreneur's thoughts on: #6 of "53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur"

Continuation of a series:  I'm currently sharing with you my thoughts on a great blog post: "53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur." by Neil Patel. His blog Quick Sprout is a must read. The original list is here: http://www.quicksprout.com/2009/08/07/51-ways-to-become-a-better-entrepreneur/

6. Around every corner lies an opportunity for you to sell something.
Every time you meet someone there is a chance for soft selling. Always try to find ways to let people know what you do. The best way to let people know what you do is to help people. Don’t always look at others as a way to sell or to help you. Build trust and you build trust with offers of help, free samples, or free advice.

Look for small ways to be visible. I see a ton of business women who email me and there is no information in their signature. Every email lets you put in an automatic signature. What should be in your email signature?

1. What you do?: i.e Real Estate Attorney 
2. How can I find out more?: i.e http://www.website.com/
3. How can I contact you? i.e. office/cell phone and email address
4. Can I have an example? i.e. www.blog.com  

That is just one way to possible sell on every corner  - don't miss it.
Cheers, Lorin

A Mom Entrepreneur's thoughts on: #4 & 5 of 53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur

For several blogs going forward, I'm going to share with you my thoughts on a great blog post: "53 things to keep in mind if you want to become a better entrepreneur." by Neil Patel. His blog Quick Sprout is a must read. The original list is here: http://www.quicksprout.com/2009/08/07/51-ways-to-become-a-better-entrepreneur/

4. Learn from your own mistakes.
Making mistakes is not the worst thing you can do.  Do the same mistake twice means you are not paying attention.  Perhaps you are stubborn and just want to try again or you just don't get it.  Pay attention to mistakes and they'll take you further - use them as learning opportunities. 

This is good advice for business, spouse and family.
5. Learn from other people’s mistakes.
Don't ever think it won't have to you.  When trying something out ask others if they have tried it before.    People love talking about themselves and sharing so finding the answers are not hard. You might save yourself a lot of grief and money if you learn from others.